peace when the world rages

 do you ever feel like you don't belong in the world?

i've always felt so different, i've always felt like i don't belong in some places, but this is new. 

2020 has opened up a new pathway of lonesomeness. 

no longer do i just not fit in with certain groups that i'm a part of,

i now no longer fit in with the world. 

and i suppose it's as it should be...

"If ye were of the world, the world would love his own.

but because ye are not of this world, 

but i have chosen you out of this world, 

therefore the world hateth you."

john 15:19

"They are not of the world,

even as i am not of the world."

john 17:16

this world has broken my heart, broken me, broken so many things.

and yet

i hold onto hope as i know it's the small, simple things that matter, 

and the small, simple things, 

are those that i can do something about. 

when the world rages, 

i can bake bread, light candles, read literature, play soft music, hug my babies, whisper breath prayers. 

when it's upside down out there, i can create a haven that is right side up. 

and so i press on.